Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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