y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize