piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
