three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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