xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
