I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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