I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
