Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
