I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
