I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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