Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
