grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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