I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
