yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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