You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
