Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
