I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
