first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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