MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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