you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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