Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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