I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
