a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
