the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
