thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
