Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Are my feet made of real feet?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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