I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
