In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize