High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
