we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Farmville is her only friend.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
