you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
