I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
