I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
worst night to have a conscience
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
