That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
