Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
