So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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