Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
