the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
