oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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