fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you. Go after that dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
