he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
