I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
