I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
