Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
