luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
