He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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