So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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