I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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