Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
