You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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