he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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