Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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