Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
