she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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