My hand turned me down
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
