im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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