Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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