The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
