Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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