I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
