I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I understand Curling. That high.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
