im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize