I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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