How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
