I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
