Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
