he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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