From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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