No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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