so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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