I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
