stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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