I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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