i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
