Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize