nut hugger
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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