haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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